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  • Writer's pictureJR and Becca Gonzales

Couples Connect Activity

Updated: Jan 30, 2023

Let this activity be a doorway to healthy, open, and honest communication; to build trust, pursue healing, and create a greater level of emotional intimacy. Some rules to agree to before starting: We will work to NOT belittle, put down, name call, make threats, demand, interrupt, shift the blame, or withdraw. We will commit to focus on using “I” statements rather than “you” statements; and we will ensure we fully listen to our spouse with understanding and without interrupting before sharing our own answers or feelings. If you struggle to agree to this or cannot get through this activity without following these careful guidelines, we highly encourage you to seek further pastoral help or meet with a counselor to navigate any and all deeper issues before they become more serious.

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. -Proverbs 15:22

1. What are three areas of strength in our relationship?

1.________________ 2._______________ 3._________________

2. What are three areas of growth in our relationship that we will commit to work on?

1.________________ 2._______________ 3._________________

3. Read and meditate on Mark 10:45 together, then answer the question: How can I do a better job of serving/helping you?

4. Read Matthew 6:33 together. When trouble, strife, and tension come, are we seeking first the kingdom of “self,” or are we seeking first the kingdom of God? Take time to discuss and pray through this together.

Couples Connect (5-minute daily challenge)

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. –Proverbs 12:18

We like to call this activity, “Daily Affirmation.” The focus of this challenge is to intentionally set aside 5 minutes every day to connect and compliment your spouse. This should be done face to face without distractions, however, if one spouse is traveling or deployed you can skype, facetime, or call each other (the key is to connect everyday no matter what your schedules look like). Daily praise helps you focus on the positive qualities in your spouse and in your relationship.

Here is how it works: Every day commit to giving your spouse 2 genuine affirmations/compliments, then simply say thank you to each other and close with asking how you can pray for each other. NOTE: The true challenge will come when you’ve had a long hard day or when you are not getting along with each other. This is when it’s most vital to push through your feelings, tiredness, and pride and do your “daily affirmation challenge.” If you commit to this simple exercise, it can radically transform you and your marriage!

All for His glory,

- JR and Becca Gonzales

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