JR and Becca Gonzales
30 Day Prayer Challenge for Couples
Updated: Jan 30
It's a new day and a new month, there is no better time than the present than to start praying together! Before you begin, ask the Lord to soften your heart during these next 30 days and do a mighty work in your marriage! While it may seem initially a bit awkward to pray out loud together, we encourage you to push through those uncomfortable feelings and do it anyway! The enemy wants nothing more than to keep you quiet and divided, and a house divided cannot stand (Mark 3:25). You will begin to notice a greater level of intimacy, when praying together becomes your natural response. Remember, your spouse deserves your first and your best, not your leftovers.
This prayer challenge was designed to fit busy schedules and only takes 5 minutes a day. There are 13 marital challenges woven throughout, intended to take you deeper and help you connect on a greater level.
NOTE: If your spouse is unable to join you, show them grace and keep pressing on. Be encouraged, there is power in prayer; commit to interceding on behalf of your marriage. God hears you, He sees you, and knows you! The prayers of the righteous are powerful and effective (James 5:16).
He is able and faithful to do exceedingly more than we ask or imagine! -Eph. 3:20
Day 1: Pray that you and your spouse would put the Lord above every other relationship.
Pray that you both would have a deep desire to know and follow Him in everything. Take the time daily to seek God first in your life and pray that your spouse would do the same. Pray for a hunger to ignite your spirits, to seek the Lord with all your hearts, souls, and minds. Thank Him for being your Good Shepard, your Wise Counselor, your Prince of Peace, and your Mighty God!
Psalm 105:4 "Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always"
Luke 10:27 He answered, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Day 2: Ask the Lord to point out any offensive or hurtful ways you’ve wronged your spouse.
No matter what your spouse has done, God wants you to change before He can change things in your marriage. Ask God to help you see the truth about yourself before you pray the same for your spouse.
Psalm 139:24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.”
2 Chronicles 7:14 “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”
Proverbs 19:11 “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.”
Sit quietly and listen (without distractions) asking the Holy Spirit to reveal to you ways you’ve offended and hurt your spouse. Take 15 minutes and write down everything that comes to your heart and mind of how you’ve wronged them. Later, lovingly approach your spouse and share your list with them. Ask them to forgive you. Take their hands and pray, asking the Holy Spirit to help you love and serve them more like Christ.
Day 3: Pray for the spiritual growth and health of your husband/wife.
Pray that you and your spouse would understand the value of being deeply rooted in the Word of God; that you both would hunger and thirst after biblical truth and righteousness. Pray that your marriage together would be pleasing to the Lord and bear much fruit.
Colossians 1:10-12 “So that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.”
John 15:8 “This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.”
2 Peter 1:5-8 “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Day 4: Pray for spiritual protection over your marriage and over your spouse.
Pray that God would guard your spouse’s heart, mind, body, will, emotion, and soul from the evil one. That the Lord would keep your spouse from harm, and deliver them from trouble. Pray the Lord would protect your marriage from the schemes of the enemy; that the Holy Spirit would shield your marriage from a divisive spirit. Bind anything seeking to destroy your union and take authority over your marriage in Jesus name.
James 4:7 “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
2 Thessalonians 3:3 “But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.”
Psalm 91:1-16 “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
Read together and discuss: https://www.christianfamilylife.com/six-pieces-spiritual-armor-protect-your-marriage/
Day 5: Renounce the spirit of pride and pray for a heart of humility.
Pray against a prideful and haughty spirit and ask the Lord to replace your selfish desires with selfless ambitions. Ask God to give you a heart that is less centered on self and more focused on serving God and your spouse. Let the Holy Spirit renew in you a right mind and allow Him to selflessly love your spouse through you.
Proverbs 11:12 “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.”
James 3:16-17 “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.”
Proverbs 16:18-19 “Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, Than to divide the spoil with the proud.”
Day 6: Pray for clarity and divine wisdom in your marriage and in your decisions.
Pray that God would silence the distractions and noise clouding your minds and time; that you and your spouse would listen to and discern the voice of the Shepherd and follow Him. Pray that God would give you both ears to hear His still small voice; that you would seek God first for wisdom, guidance, and direction above all else.
John 10:27-28 “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.”
James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
Isaiah 30:21 “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”
Day 7: Pray to be set free from anger, destructive attitudes, and abusiveness that is poisoning your relationship.
That God would remove disrespectful attitudes, behaviors, and tones that threaten intimacy and damage both the heart of your spouse and your relationship. Pray that you would rely on God in times of trouble and that He would replace negative patterns with His peace and kindness; that He would give you the grace to treat each other with love and respect. Ask the Lord to expose and rid you of ways that are causing hurt and harm to your relationship. Confess to each other ways you’ve acted out of anger, rudeness, abuse, and disrespect. Ask the Lord and your spouse for forgiveness. Pray the Lord would set you free from all the damaging effects of anger and cease using any form of abusiveness. Ask Him to heal the deep wounds in your marriage and restore it to full health.
James 1:19-20 “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
Proverbs 29:11 “A [shortsighted] fool always loses his temper and displays his anger, But a wise man [uses self-control and] holds it back.”
Ephesians 4:29-32 “Do not let unwholesome [foul, profane, worthless, vulgar] words ever come out of your mouth, but only such speech as is good for building up others, according to the need and the occasion, so that it will be a blessing to those who hear [you speak]. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God [but seek to please Him], by whom you were sealed and marked [branded as God’s own] for the day of redemption [the final deliverance from the consequences of sin]. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse, malevolence]. Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you.”
*** Marital Challenge and Extra Scripture Reading ***
Make a commitment to distinguish all vain arguments with love and don’t give room for rudeness, anger, and abusive patterns take root in your home and marriage. If these behaviors are not dealt with, they can annihilate marital intimacy. It’s never too early or too late to seek out godly wisdom and help for your marriage. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you to a pastor, mentor, or contact us to recommend a Christian counselor. If your spouse is unable or unwilling to seek further help with you, don’t lose hope. Stand in the gap for them; spend time interceding on behalf of your husband/wife and get the help you need from a trusted pastor and counselor (NOTE: Your parents don’t count). Remember, the Lord is for you and for your marriage; He is fighting for you and always interceding for you. As Pastor Brady says, “Jesus intercedes for us, so we can intercede for others.”
Colossians 3:18 “Wives, be subject to your husbands [out of respect for their position as protector, and their accountability to God], as is proper and fitting in the Lord.”
Colossians 3:19 “Husbands, love your wives [be affectionate and sympathetic with them] and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them.”
2 Corinthians 10:5 “We are destroying sophisticated arguments and every exalted and proud thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought and purpose captive to the obedience of Christ.”
Ephesians 4:26-27 “When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down. Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him].”
Day 8: Pray that God would grow and deepen your relationships with other Godly couples.
Ask for the Lord to bring strong community into your lives; friends, couples, and mentors that would lead you closer to God and to each other. Pray that the Lord would bring you Godly examples that would encourage and support your marriage. Ask for God to give you both courage to eliminate negative influences and voices that are not out for the best interests of your marriage. Pray that the Holy Spirit would help you both step out of your comfort zone and get involved with friendships that breed life!
Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
1 Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
*** Marital Challenge ***
Discuss the friendships you both have individually and as a couple. Take a look at Proverbs 13:20 and discuss what this scripture means and looks like in your circle of friends. Are there any friendships causing you to stumble and drift further from the truth? Are there any relationships causing strife in your marriage? NOTE: a family member or friend may be out for the best interests of you, but not your spouse and marriage. Use caution in this area and seek counsel.
Read Hebrews 10:24-25, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”
Are there any friendships you desire to have more of that would be an encouragement to you and your relationship?
How can you commit individually and as a couple to get more involved with ministries and groups at your church?
Day 9: Pray for financial provision and wisdom on how to manage your money together well.
Pray that the Lord would help you work together to handle your financial responsibilities well. That He would guide you in articulating a reasonable budget. Ask the Lord to help you communicate kindly and effectively on money management issues and concerns. Release any worry or frustration into His hands and thank Him for being your Provider and your Provision. Diligently ask the Lord to help you steward your money well and show you how to make wise decisions with your money. Pray that He would give you both a generous heart and a desire to tithe and bless others.
Philippians 4:19 “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”
Proverbs 3:9-10 “Honor the Lord with your possessions, And with the first fruits of all your increase; So your barns will be filled with plenty, And your vats will overflow with new wine.
Proverbs 22:7 “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.”
Day 10: A prayer for my wife.
Note: Wives, today is your day to be still, rest, and receive from the Lord and your husband. Husbands, today is your day to intercede on behalf of your wife.
Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of my wife. You are the giver of all good things, and I’m amazed how You reveal Your steadfast love through her. Please let me never fail to treasure such an wonderful gift. Moment by moment, day by day concern and tension can easily steal the joy from my bride. Please teach her to guard her heart from allowing circumstances to control and steal her peace, the peace of God. Give her an overwhelming sense of joy comparable to that of Jesus, as the joy was set before Him. May she count every trial as an opportunity to trust in, rely on, and praise You. As she rests in Your Word, let it permeate her entire being, that her joy would be full. Lord, when she feels weary, prompt her to wait upon You, so that You can renew her strength. Surround her with friends who prioritize Your Word and live by the light that promises to guide her every step. Let her above all, come unto You and show her that You will bear her every burden. In your word you promise a sound mind, nourishment, and reassurance; let her look to You, the Author, and Finisher of life. May she understand and know beyond a shadow of doubt that her help is only a word away and that the joy of the Lord is her primary source strength. Protect her from growing weary and tired of doing what You’ve called her to do each day. I pray she would know how much You deeply love and cherish her. In Jesus name, Amen!
Psalm 121:2 “My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.”
Isaiah 40:31 “But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”
Galatians 6:9 “So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.”
James 1:2-3 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”
***Challenge for Husbands: Consider, Recall, Renew.***
CONSIDER the blessing of each other and how God has bestowed much favor upon you.
RECALL the joy in your pursuit of your bride.
RENEW my vision as I consider the best interests of my wife. Let my thoughts, intent, and interaction seek only to serve, protect, and preserve the gift of my marriage.
Day 11: A prayer for my husband.
Note: Husbands, today is your day to be still, rest, and receive from the Lord and your wife. Wives, today is your day to intercede on behalf of your husband.
Lord Jesus, thank you for the gift of my marriage and the beautiful covenant You created. I praise You, Lord for my husband; thank you for creating him and bringing us together in such a unique and profound way. Pour out your favor and blessing upon him and may he know how much you love and value him. Give him purpose and confidence for all that comes his way. Equip him to live a life full of integrity and boldness, worthy of the call. Help me to show care, interest, and support in who You have called him to be. Use me in every way You can to show respect, honor, and deep love to my husband. Fill him with Your abundant peace and remove any fear or anxiety that is draining him. Father, protect him and guard his heart and mind from anything trying to distract him and turn his eyes from the Truth. I pray against the lust of the flesh and pride of life, that seeks to so easily entangle him and leads only to death; defend him against the schemes of the enemy. Holy Spirit, empower my husband walk only in the Spirit and may he give no room for the flesh. Inspire him to seek you daily and strengthen his relationship with You. Bless the work of his hands Lord Jesus; that everything he would set out to do would prosper. Reveal great truths and pour out Your divine wisdom upon him. Help me to love and serve him more without complaining. In Jesus name, Amen!
1 Peter 5:7 “Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”
Psalm 1:3 “He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.”
Romans 13:14 “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”
***Challenge for Wives***
Find ways to bless and build up your husband today. Ask him specifically how you can pray for him and ways that you can encourage him. Take 10 minutes and write a list of anything and everything you love about him (note: don’t be discouraged if your marriage is in a rough spot. Praise him for getting out of bed and taking a shower or having discipline to get up and go to work. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you areas and qualities you may not see). Give your list to your husband before your heads hit the pillow tonight.
Day 12: Pray for unity and oneness in your marriage.
Pray for God to give you a unified vision, that the Lord would grow you closer together as you pursue Him. Pray that He would help you value each other and understand the importance of spending quality time alone together. Ask The Lord to help you schedule uninterrupted time to truly connect as a couple and plan date nights (be intentional, have fun). Pray that He would help you come into agreement with the Him and with each other on any areas of disagreement you are facing. Ask God to help you both see that being united as a team, is far more important than being right.
1 Corinthians 1:10 “I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment.”
Mark 3:25 "And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand."
Matthew 19:6 “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Day 13: Pray that you and your spouse would be quick to forgive and let go of any offense.
Ask the Lord to help you let go of offense quickly and pray that bitterness and resentment would not take root in either of your hearts. Diligently ask the Lord to reveal to you ways you’ve hurt and offended your spouse. Ask your spouse and God for forgiveness and pray He would help you to change, so that your life would bear much fruit. Lord, when I am offended, let me be quick to forgive the wrongdoing. I often fail to invite you into these marital downfalls and I am sorry. I repent for being hasty to defend or hurried to justify any wrongs that promote self but ultimately divide us. When my spouse and I are harsh and wound each other, help us to be quick to forgive. Let our lives exemplify a servants heart of love and not our own selfish ambitions.
Matthew 6:15 “But if you do not forgive others their sins, you Father will not forgive your sins.”
Psalm 103:10-14 “he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.”
Proverbs 10:12 “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.”
Day 14: Pray for love and romance in your marriage.
Pray that God would ignite a fiery passion of love and romance in your marriage. Ask for the Lord to show you practical and extravagant ways to love and pursue your spouse with excitement and zeal. Pray for a tenderness and kind heart in both yourself and your spouse, as you seek the Lord in ways to love them fiercely. Pray the Lord would help you love without limits; not dependent on your husband/wife’s response or reciprocation.
Note:If you’re in a situation where you feel that all your doing is giving out and not receiving back, don’t lose heart. Draw from the well of “living water that never runs dry,” let Jesus fill you to overflow. Loving someone beyond what they deserve, is a divine reflection of what Christ has done for us.
1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”
1 Corinthians 16:14 “Let all that you do be done in love.”
Matthew 20:28 “Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Day 15: Pray for wisdom to acknowledge the Word as the final authority in your marriage and family.
It has been said, “God will not answer 100% of the prayers you do not pray.” So, with that in mind...Pray that you would acknowledge the authority of Gods’ Word in your marriage. Take a moment and utter His praises and appreciate His status as Creator. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you accept His authority in every detail of your marriage and family. Ask Him to help you to set your mind on things above and agree enthusiastically with the guidance of His Word. Finally, ask The Lord to help shape your marriage to be a reflection of obedience, dignity, and honor as you position yourself before His light and love. Inquire of The Lord to empower you to silence all wickedness and surrender the fleshly urge to rely on self’s responses that always seem right in the moment but constantly fail. Ask the Holy Spirit to love your spouse through you and rely on His power to love, not your own.
Psalm 18:29 “With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.”
Psalm 119:105 “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.”
Psalm 101:8 “Every morning I will put to silence all the wicked in the land…
1 Peter 3:12 “For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.”
Day 16: Pray for your role together as parents.
Pray for the Lord to give you a unified vision on how to raise your child/children together. Ask Him to bring clarity in areas you and your spouse have differing opinions. When difficult situations arise, diligently seek the Lord together for wisdom, understanding, and direction. Inquire of the Lord’s help on how to discipline, and ask Him to remind you (when you are in the heat of the moment), that these children you have been given are yours to steward and disciple. Pray for discernment and a sensitivity to the Holy Spirit’s leading and promptings; that He would help you recognize and respond to teachable moments. Ask the Lord to give you insightful ideas of how to stay lovingly involved and connected to your child/children. Earnestly pray that God would give you and your spouse the grace and wisdom to be Godly examples in their lives.
Note: If you haven’t started praying over your child/children, start now! It’s never too late to come alongside the work of the Holy Spirit and cover them with prayer and truth.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be [written] on your heart and mind. You shall teach them diligently to your children [impressing God’s precepts on their minds and penetrating their hearts with His truths] and shall speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.”
Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], Even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord.”
Commit to memorize together, Deuteronomy 6:6-7. Discuss ways you can both penetrate the hearts of your child/children with God’s truth. It’s been said, “More is caught than taught.” What are some ways you can implement more of God into your everyday life, so your kids see the fruit of the Holy Spirit at work in you and in your marriage?
Day 17: Pray that you both would resist temptation and pray against any present sin issues.
Pray the Lord would strengthen you and your spouse to resist any persistent temptations and sin that seeks to so easily entangle. Confess and repent of any areas that seem to have a hold on you. Ask for the Holy Spirit to help you rise up with courage and self-control to resist the lusts of the flesh. Ask the Lord to remove the evil one at work, especially in the area of (________________). Pray that the Holy Spirit would empower you to walk in the spirit and give no room for the flesh and all its evil desires. Thank the Lord for going before you and always providing a “way out” when you are tempted!
James 1:12-16 “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers.”
Matthew 26:41 “All of you must keep awake (give strict attention, be cautious and active)watch and pray, that you may not come into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
Day 18: Pray that you and your spouse would set a guard over your mouth.
Pray the Lord would help you put a guard over your mouth. That the words that flow from your lips towards each other would be filled with encouragement and life, not death. Ask the Lord to teach you what is acceptable according to His Word. Diligently pray for self-control, that you would be slow to speak, slow to become angry, and quick to listen. Confess any ways that you’ve hurt your spouse with careless words, asking for their forgiveness. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you use your words for healing instead of hurt. Pray that He would empower you to respond in love and not frustration.
Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
Psalm 141:3 “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!”
Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words.”
Discuss together how you can use your words to encourage and build each other up, instead of tear each other down with careless comments. Apologize for ways you’ve wounded your spouse with your words. Commit to memorize together, Proverbs 16:24, “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”
Day 19: A prayer for strength when you feel like giving up.
Pray that you and your spouse would not be moved by disappointment, doubt, or the burden of life’s ever changing circumstances. Pray that the Lord would help you trust Him, when things just don’t make sense. Ask Him to help you lay aside the weight and burden of adversity, that so undoubtedly harasses you and your spouse. Pray that He would teach you to weigh the size of the problem, against the BIGNESS of your God. Ask the Lord to give you the fervor to function in step with His Word, even when you don’t feel like it. Heavenly Father, You sent Your Son to endure the cross, so that we might live life in abundance. Lead me to rest in the same power that rose Christ from the dead; help me receive the courage to face what is before me and press on to what lies ahead. Jesus, Your promise is guaranteed, let me lean on the assurance that You will make all things right, even in my midnight hour. Let me appropriate Your Word and trust that joy comes in the morning. Though it tarry, anoint me to wait upon You for renewed passion, strength, and zeal. As I trust in the promise of Your resurrection, let me never lose hope in the truth of Your Word, that never returns void. You will finish the good work that You started, and Lord I will wait. Your hope and peace is a reality by which I alone, will cling to. Have Your way, “Lord not my will, but Yours be done.”
Hebrews 12:1-2 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Isaiah 40:31 “But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] Will gain new strength and renew their power; They will lift up their wings [and rise up close to God] like eagles [rising toward the sun]; They will run and not become weary, They will walk and not grow tired.”
Philippians 3:13-14 “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider that I have made it my own yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the [heavenly] prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
Day 20: Pray for the emotional health of you and your spouse.
Invite the Holy Spirit in to minister to the deep inner parts of your souls. Pray that you and your spouse would be still and rest in God’s presence, as you marinate yourselves in the Word. Ask the Holy Spirit to empower you to fix your mind on the promises of God, instead of self’s way of coping. If there are any areas of deep wounds and trauma, commit to praying for your spouse diligently; that God would bind up their wounds and bring about full healing and restoration. Take authority by the resurrection power that raised Christ from the dead and anoint your minds and home with the Truth (remember, it is the truth that sets us FREE – John 8:32). When you go through the deep waters of emotional distress, submit to His Lordship. Allow the Holy Spirit to renew your minds daily. When hardship seeks to wear you out, pray that you and your spouse would saturate yourselves in the Scriptures. Stay rooted in the Word and abide in the Father, let your weakness be a source of His strength!
Philippians 4:6-7 “ Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God. And the peace of God [that peace which reassures the heart, that peace] which transcends all understanding, [that peace which] stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus [is yours].”
Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Psalm 46 “God is our refuge and strength, a very presenthelp in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High. God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns. The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Come, behold the works of the Lord, how he has brought desolations on the earth. He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire. “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.”
Listen to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Jsi1gNLCJU. Rest and meditate on the promises of God!
Day 21: Pray for physical health and healing in your bodies.
Take a moment and praise the Lord for His miracle working power, that same power that rose Christ from the dead is alive and active, living on the inside of you through the power of the Holy Spirit. Claim the promises of health and healing over your marriage and family. Ask the Lord to surround you both with supernatural strength and peace, remembering, that no matter any diagnosis, the Lord always has the final say. Stand firm in faith believing, that with God nothing shall be impossible (Luke 1:37). Pray that the Lord would strengthen your bodies and rid you of all stress, so you can carry out the work He has for you. Heavenly Father, create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. God, You are for me, my marriage, and my family; You see all things and know all things. Give me Your perspective regarding these trials, so that I am not buried by the weight of them. Help me to see that You are the God who heals and You want me well. Help my spouse and I to grow a distaste for the one who seeks to wear us out. Allow us to shut down the meaningless attacks of the enemy with praise. Let us praise you in the storm, for out of it we will have great peace, growth, and fruition. Help us cooperate in the work You have committed to complete within us and through us.
Psalm 41:3 “The Lord sustains him on his sickbed; in his illness you restore him to full health.”
Isaiah 53:5 “But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.”
Jeremiah 17:14 “Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my praise.”
Day 22: Pray for marital fidelity.
Thank and praise the Inventor of marriage for creating your spouse and bringing you both together to love, cherish, and honor your commitment to each other and to the Lord. Renounce the spirit of infidelity and adultery from your lives and homes. Pray that God would establish a foundation of mutual trust and honesty between you and your spouse. Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom to set appropriate boundaries with the opposite sex, especially in your workplace. If there has been any compromise in your marriage, confess and seek forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing. Ask the Lord to direct you to the appropriate counselor to work through any unresolved matters.
Proverbs 5:15 “Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well.”
Hebrews 13:4 “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
1 Corinthians 4:2 “Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found trustworthy.”
Day 23: Pray that God would give you a thriving marriage.
Pray that you and your spouse would relinquish all striving and instead, start abiding in the Father. Pray that you both would remain in Him, so that your lives would bear great fruit. Ask the Lord to show you how He created your marriage to thrive and not survive (remember that a thriving marriage, comes from first, abiding). Pray that the Holy Spirit would help you surrender your power, so He can initiate His.
John 15:4-5 “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
Psalm 127:1 “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.”
John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
Read together: https://www.couplesconnectnlc.com/blog/the-1-ingredient-for-a-thriving-marriage. Discuss the differences in striving versus abiding in Christ.
Day 24: Pray for sexual intimacy in your marriage.
Pray that the Lord would anoint your sex life together; that it would be fulfilling and you both would find delight in pursuing physical intimacy together. Repent of any ways that you’ve allowed sex to be distorted and contend over any ungodly areas you’ve entertained. Allow the Lord to sanctify your minds, bodies, and emotions through the Word and help shape your beliefs about sex around the Truth (which says that sex is holy, good, and the marriage bed kept undefiled). Let your minds, in regards to your sex life, be fixed on whatever is true, holy, honorable, and praiseworthy. Ask God to help you see that sex is a gift, to both give and receive. If sex is a struggle in your relationship, ask the Holy Spirit to give you a deep desire and strong attraction towards your husband/wife. If there are any past or present sexual struggles, pray that the Lord would give you the courage to talk openly with your spouse, and find a trusted counselor together to deal with any challenging setbacks you are facing. Praise the Lord for giving you a healthy vision of sex and that your sex life together would ultimately glorify Him.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Proverbs 5:18-19 “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.”
Genesis 2:25 “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”
God created sex within marriage for your enjoyment and pleasure. Find time regularly (even if you have to schedule it) to have sex guilt free, without any eye rolling and complaining. Ask the Lord to give you a good attitude and a desire to pursue your spouse physically (it will put a smile on their face knowing you truly want to connect with them physically).
Day 25: Pray God would turn your heart to the ministry of your spouse.
Some of the most important words you can utter every morning are, “Lord, turn my heart to the ministry of my spouse.” Pray the Lord would help you understand the importance of your responsibility to nurture your marriage. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you anything that is taking priority above your relationship with your husband/wife. Pray God would give you eyes to see that your relationship with your spouse is more important than your job, your hobbies, your friends, your parents, and even your kids. Pray the Holy Spirit would help you understand that modeling a prioritized marital relationship, is vital to the overall health, development, and stability of your children. There is no greater call you will ever have than the spiritual well-being of your marriage and family.
Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
1 Corinthians 14:40 “Let all things be done decently and in order.”
Ephesians 5:1-2 “Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”
Read together: https://www.focusonthefamily.ca/content/putting-your-spouse-before-your-kids?fb_comment_id=2074036595955377_2957607494264945
Discuss what is taking precedence in your lives and how you can better prioritize your relationship.
Day 26: Pray for your dreams and calling.
Pray that God would resurrect any dead or stagnant dreams and that they would come alive, only to awaken again inside your hearts. Surrender your dreams to the Father and ask Him to give you clarity, peace, and patience for those God size dreams that He has planted in you. Pray for the grace to trust Him while you wait and the strength to follow His guidance. Ask the Holy Spirit to cultivate a great hunger for the calling he has placed inside you and pray about how you can support each other in achieving a unified dream.
Proverbs 16:3 “Commit your works to the Lord [submit and trust them to Him], And your plans will succeed [if you respond to His will and guidance].”
Proverbs 16:9 “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
Day 27: Pray for healthy communication.
Pray for those areas of disagreement and those areas where there is misunderstanding in your relationship. Ask God to give you patience and a tender heart, as you work through unresolved differences. Pray that you would both seek unity and understanding in your conversations. Commit your marriage to God, placing all your hope in Him. Trust God to restore and/or strengthen your communication by sending His love to flow through your hearts to each other. Remember, unity is far more important than being right!
Amos 3:3 “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
Proverbs 18:13 “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.”
Proverbs 18:2 “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.”
Day 28: Pray against any thought or mention of divorce being an option.
Pray against any idea of divorce, specifically, that it would have no hold on you or your marriage. Allow the fear of God to annihilate the temptation to ever mention the “D” word in your home. If you come from a line of leavers, pray that the Spirit of God would heal wounds and reconcile any grief resulting from divorced parents. Abandon any predisposition that contradicts Christ model for a healthy marriage. Work effortlessly to stay emotionally, physically, and spiritually connected to your spouse. Ask God to protect your marriage from the damage caused by prideful or rebellious hearts and confess any hardness of heart towards your spouse you’ve allowed to creep in. Pray that the Holy Spirit would transform your hearts and minds, and give you the strength to build your marriage up, rather than tear it down. Remember, there is always hope for your marriage because, “nothing is impossible with God” (Luke 1:37).
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 “To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.”
Malachi 2:16 “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
Matthew 19:3-6 “Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Day 29: Pray for perseverance in your marriage for the years ahead.
Praise the Lord for His faithfulness in your lives and the hope you have in and through Him. Pray the Holy Spirit would empower you with a sure fire determination to assert and draw from His strength; that He would equip you and your spouse to stand firm on His Word. May you cling to His truth, in the midst of hardship. Agree to implore of the Father, to give you a fiery passion (regardless of fickle feelings) to pursue your spouse with devoutness and fulfill your commitment to love, honor, and serve them all the days you are given here on earth. Pray that you and your spouse would not allow compromise (or any issue for that matter) to come between you, and keep your minds fixed on Jesus, steadfastly trusting Him to perfect all that concerns you. Allow the Holy Spirit to strengthen you in your inner most being, so that you may be able to run the race set before you with endurance. Let God’s unfailing strength, settle deep within the caverns of your greatest weakness, while you take refuge beneath His wings. Take a unified stance against any and all opposition that contends for your marriage, in Jesus name, releasing the power of heaven over your marriage; remembering, that we fight not against each other, but against the principalities of darkness, whose desire is to ruin and divide your union (Eph.6:12). Pray that the Lord would always keep you humble, knowing that in Christ, the enemy is already defeated!
Galatians 6:9 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Romans 5:3-5 “And not only this, but [with joy] let us exult in our sufferings and rejoice in our hardships, knowing that hardship (distress, pressure, trouble) produces patient endurance; and endurance, proven character (spiritual maturity); and proven character, hope and confident assurance [of eternal salvation]. Such hope [in God’s promises] never disappoints us, because God’s love has been abundantly poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].”
Day 30: Pray that your marriage would be seasoned with salt and together, you would fulfill the Great Commission.
Take a moment and praise God for your marriage; remembering, marriage is gift God has entrusted you with to ultimately glorify Him. Ask the Lord to help you see that your marriage was created for far more than just the two of you; that He would give you great revelation of how your marriage was designed to demonstrate Christ’s deep love for us. Allow the Holy Spirit to transform you and give you His heart; one of a humble selfless servant, that lays down their needs, ways, wants, and wills on behalf of others. Pray that the Spirit would empower you to understand biblical manhood and biblical womanhood, to live in such a way that this broken world would see something so profound in your marriage. Pray that together you would live differently, above reproach, and that your responses would be seasoned with gentleness and care. Lord, let us see that You have raised the bar so high and that we can only reach it with Your help. Thank you for giving us the Holy Spirit, who promises to lead and guide us into all truth. Lord, teach us to trust in, adhere to, and rely on You and You alone. Almighty God, let us live to mirror the light of Christ in our marriage and family. When others see us, I pray they would see a biproduct of the miracle working power of God. May the love and truth of Christ always be our foundation. Help us cultivate discipleship first in our homes, so together, we can carry light and hope into this dark world.
Mark 16:15 “And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.
Matthew 5:13-16 “You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”
John 8:12 “Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
Lovingly and honestly discuss these questions together: